What to do with a DVRO against you

A Domestic Violence Restraining Order (DVRO) against you in California means a judge has issued temporary orders restricting your contact with the protected person — and you have limited time to respond before those temporary orders become final. Here's what you need to do immediately if you've been served with a DVRO, and how to protect your rights throughout the process. Let me be straight with you: getting served with a DVRO is serious. It can affect your parenting time, your ability to go to work, and your housing situation. But here's the thing — having a DVRO filed against you doesn't mean the court has decided the allegations are true. It means someone made a request, and a judge made a temporary ruling based only on one side of the story. You have every right to tell your side.

First: Read Everything Carefully — Yes, All of It

When you were served, you received a stack of paperwork. I know most people's instinct is to toss it in a drawer and panic quietly. Don't do that. The documents you received contain the specific orders against you and the deadline to respond.

⚠️ Watch Out: If you were served with a Temporary Restraining Order (TRO), you typically have only 21 to 25 days to file a response — the exact date is printed on your paperwork. Missing this deadline means the TRO automatically becomes a permanent order, potentially for up to five years, without you ever getting to explain your side.

The key documents are the DV-109 (Notice of Court Hearing) and the DV-100 (Request for Domestic Violence Restraining Order), which contains the petitioner's allegations. Read both carefully. These allegations are not yet proven facts — they're claims the other person made to get the court's attention.

What the DVRO Actually Restricts

California courts can order a range of restrictions depending on what the petitioner requested and what the judge found reasonable. A DVRO against you may include orders to:

• Stay away — Usually 100 to 500 feet from the protected person, their home, workplace, or children's school
• No contact — No phone calls, texts, emails, or contact through third parties
• Move out — Orders to vacate a shared residence (in some cases)
• Surrender firearms — Must turn in all guns within 24 hours of the order
• Visitation changes — Temporary custody or parenting time modifications
• Pay support — In rare cases, temporary support orders

Example: "When James came to my office, he'd been served with a DVRO that said he couldn't go within 100 feet of his wife or their two kids' school. The problem? He was the primary transportation for getting those kids to school every day. The temporary order had thrown his entire custody arrangement into chaos, and he was afraid if he even drove past the school, he'd be arrested. He had two weeks until the hearing and no idea what to do." — This is more common than people think. A DVRO filed in good faith or bad can completely disrupt your life while you figure out the process.

What I see constantly is people who assume they can't do anything — that the order is just something they have to live with until it expires. That's wrong. You can file a response, appear at the hearing, and present your version of events.

Step-by-Step: How to Respond to a DVRO in California

Here's the actual process. I'm going to walk you through what needs to happen and where people typically get stuck.

1. Read Your Paperwork Immediately

Find your court date, the specific restrictions, and who filed the request. Note whether the petitioner claimed any incidents — these are the specific allegations you'll need to address.

2. Gather Your Evidence

Start collecting anything that supports your side of the story. This includes text messages, emails, call logs, photos, witnesses, police reports (including if you called police yourself), and any documentation showing the petitioner has a pattern of making false claims or exaggerating. California courts look at the totality of circumstances — not just the petitioner's version.

3. Decide: Pro Se or Attorney?

This is a real decision point. You can file the response yourself (pro per), or you can hire an attorney. For a simple case with minor allegations and no custody issues, pro per might work. But if children are involved, the petitioner is claiming serious abuse, or you're facing criminal charges related to the same incidents — get a lawyer. DVRO hearings can influence custody orders and may even be used in criminal proceedings.

Filing Pro Se (On Your Own)

Saves money upfront. Forms are available at courts.ca.gov. But you have to know the rules, present evidence properly, and cross-examine the petitioner. One bad move can cost you.

Hiring an Attorney

Costs more upfront but gives you someone who knows family court procedure, can object to inadmissible evidence, and knows how to present your case effectively. Many attorneys offer free consultations.

4. File Your Response (Form DV-120)

You use Form DV-120 to respond to the DV-100. In this form, you tell the court your side of the story. You can agree with parts of the order, disagree with others, and propose your own orders. Be factual — avoid emotional ranting. Courts see a lot of responses that hurt the writer's credibility by making claims they can't prove or using inflammatory language.

5. Prepare Your Witnesses and Evidence

If you have witnesses who saw relevant events, their testimony matters. You need to submit a witness list (Form DV-105) before the hearing. Any physical evidence — photos, documents, recordings — should be organized and ready to present. California is a two-party consent state for recordings, so know those rules before relying on audio evidence.

6. Attend the Hearing

This is it. The judge will hear from both sides. The petitioner goes first, then you or your attorney. The judge may ask questions. Be respectful, be clear, and stick to the facts. (which, honestly, surprises people) — this is not the time for lengthy emotional speeches. Judges are looking for specific information about what happened, when, and with supporting evidence.

7. Wait for the Judge's Decision

The judge can deny the DVRO entirely, modify the restrictions, or grant a full order. If the order is granted and you disagree, you have the right to appeal — but you typically need to do so quickly. If the order is denied, the temporary restrictions end.

Common Mistakes People Make

Here's where I see clients really hurt themselves: Other common problems:

• Missing the deadline. I mentioned this already, but it bears repeating. The response deadline is not flexible. If you need an extension, you have to ask the court before the deadline — not after.
• Showing up unprepared. Walking into court without knowing the specific allegations, your evidence, or what orders you're requesting is a losing strategy. The petitioner has prepared their case. You need to prepare yours.
• Ignoring the firearms order. If the DVRO includes a firearms surrender order, you must comply within 24 hours. Failing to do so is a federal crime under 18 U.S.C. § 922(g)(8). Don't ignore this.
• Posting about the case on social media. Anything you post can be screenshotted and shown to the judge. Avoid it.

Questions to Ask Your Attorney About a DVRO

Before you hire someone to represent you, here's what most people want to know:

"A person subject to a protective order shall not own, possess, purchase, or receive a firearm while the protective order is in effect."

— Family Code § 6389

What Happens After the DVRO Hearing

If the judge grants a full DVRO, the order lasts up to five years in California (sometimes longer if renewed). During that time, you must comply with all terms or face criminal penalties for violation.

⚠️ Watch Out: Violating a DVRO is a criminal misdemeanor in California (Penal Code § 273.6). Even if you think the order is wrong or unfair, violating it by texting, calling, or showing up where the petitioner is — even accidentally — can land you in criminal court. The burden is on you to know and follow the order.

If you're unhappy with the outcome, you have options. You can file an appeal within 60 days, or you can file a motion to modify or terminate the order later if circumstances change.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can I get a DVRO dropped before the hearing? In some cases, if both parties agree and the petitioner signs a dismissal form (Form DV-112), the court may dismiss the case. But the petitioner has to voluntarily agree. You can't force them to drop it. What if I was never served but there's a DVRO against me? Service is required for the order to be valid and enforceable. If you weren't properly served, you may be able to challenge the order. But if you knew about the hearing and didn't appear, that gets complicated. Talk to an attorney immediately. Will a DVRO show up on my criminal record? Not automatically. A civil DVRO is separate from criminal proceedings. But if you violate the order, that becomes a criminal matter. Also, the existence of the DVRO may be considered in future custody hearings or if you're applying for certain licenses. Can I still see my kids? It depends on what the order says. Some DVROs include specific parenting time provisions, while others say nothing about custody. If your normal custody arrangement conflicts with a stay-away order, you need to address this at the hearing or file an emergency motion. Do I need a lawyer for the hearing? You don't legally have to have one. But given what's at stake — your parenting time, your freedom to go where you want, potential criminal consequences for violations — most people in this situation are far better off with legal representation. Family court has specific rules of evidence and procedure that trip up people who don't know them.

This isn't legal advice — every case is different, and you should talk to a California family law attorney about your specific situation. If you're facing a DVRO hearing, the time to act is now. The deadline to respond isn't flexible, and what you do in the next few weeks can affect your life for years.